Our memories and happy times piled around our feet. At some point, you want to give the kids back and let their parents deal with them. If you can predict their every move, you fall into a repeated pattern. For me who wants to change and grow and develop and find excitement in the day-to-day, this gets boring, disinteresting, and evokes repetitious face-palming. They need to know their worth and who they are. To go into a relationship with another person confident enough to push back; say no; argue; disagree; fight; set boundaries; and have other interests besides their relationship and their partner.
They certainly need to be able to see other things outside of their coupledom that brings them worth, joy, esteem, and satisfaction. For when things then get rocky, the whole universe comes crashing down and they are badly burned. Such heartbreak. Life is way too short. And if it has required being called or seen as the villain, so be it. They have to do it for themselves and by themselves. I know I contributed to the fall of several nice guy empires.
I do promise it was never intentional. For deciding to end it rather than drag it out and pretend it was something else. I sincerely apologize to anyone I have ever hurt. And always at that moment, I have felt that maybe they are right. Have you ever met someone who was nice, but also genuine and confident?
That guy probably never loses, except when he does. So why does that guy finish last? The truth is people respond positively to confidence, and a genuine person is easy to respect, but kindness is more difficult. Confidence and authenticity represent greatness of self, while kindness is a strength born of selflessness and caring for others.
Society, especially in the modern first-world, has convinced us we are alone and so must care for ourselves first and foremost. A woman who has her pick of stable, emotionally available male specimens decides to go for some rugged, rebellious jerk instead.
Do nice guys really finish last? There are lots of valid reasons why women go for bad boys — in fact, some of them have to do with hormonal changes that are beyond their control more on that later. That said, it is possible to be a good guy and still get the girl. As a matchmaker, I am asked about this question over and over again. That, in a nutshell, is the essence of pure masculine energy, so it makes sense why women might be drawn to it.
Opposites attract, after all. Still, with that alpha presence comes some negative traits as well: jealousy, aggression, insensitivity, and inability to commit, to name a few. This subject is a complicated one. This seems to suggest the idea that those brooding macho men have a leg up when it comes to attracting the opposite sex.
Or, conversely, it could also mean that guys with those personality traits are simply more likely to be promiscuous by nature.
The bad boy definitely comes with some inherent excitement. Unfortunately, often times we don't know what's good for us until we've been exposed to what's bad for us. Women need to get their hearts broken and self-esteem perished once, twice or maybe three times to recognize what they deserve. Thanks, jerks. Your emotionless charm and excessive lying serves to help women grow from being the naive girls they once were.
You have paved the way for nice guys to finally get their shot. So really, it's true: Nice guys finish last, but they do, ahem, finish. Perhaps, behind every jerk lies an ex-girlfriend who made him that way. The same may go for women who have nice men eating from the palm of their hands. We have all been a Derek at once point in our lives. At the end of the day, once you have had your time of being the jerk, you'll turn into the nice guy. Nice guys finish last because they should finish last.
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