You start off by pulling their leg or irritating them. They have no idea it's all in the name of fun with no intention of harming them. But some sensitive people take it to another level. You're hurt and just a few steps away from pouring your heart out until, bam! You've ended up hurting the one you love too. Making someone understand where you're coming from is often a task in itself and it requires flames not literally to be thrown in different directions until a sense of calm takes over.
Not everybody is perfect and you know that very well. However you can't help but get angry when that loved one doesn't do the dishes or leaves the bathroom in a mess after he's done bathing. You may have had a huge argument with your mom but you know deep down, that she still loves you and it never rains forever. Parents have the talent of pointing out your flaws when you rant in exchange for their sympathy.
What happens next, we all know. Videos News India. Latest Stories. Mutual Funds. Worth X. Science And Future. Her husband felt particularly sensitive to being misunderstood based on his own history of having a mom who often felt easily criticized. In this case, making sense of their unique histories helped both partners separate it from their real-time experience.
This led them to a deeper understanding that went beyond their one, small interaction. Often, couples react with instinctive emotion that then triggers the other person. If we can take a moment to pause and reflect, we can avoid a lot of the nastiness that arises in a fight. Rather than being reactive, we can be curious. What set us off? Is our anger similar to anger we felt as a child? Why is our partner reacting the way they are? Invite open, honest communication: We can make an effort to keep the channels of communication open by resisting the knee-jerk reaction to defend ourselves when we feel attacked.
We may intimidate or silence our partner by being defensive, when our goal should be to invite feedback. We may be silent about these things but expect our partner to somehow intuitively know what we need, which leaves us feeling victimized and chronically disappointed.
When we do confront our partner, it may then come from an irrational place that they have trouble wrapping their head around. This kind of communication often softens our partner and keeps us on the same page. Both the way we perceive our partner and the way we respond to them are often filtered through expectations and experiences from our past. Unfortunately, the more stirred up we are on a primal level, the more reactive we tend to be in the moment.
When we take pause and question our reaction, we can sort out what we really think, feel, and want rather than blindly diving into an argument that can injure our relationship. By challenging our tendencies that lead to more fights and less closeness, we can shift dynamics in our relationship. Instead, it is best to be authentic to yourself and those around you.
Here are a few ways to do so:. It is easy to assume that love will also bring with it plenty of patience. In reality, however, our tolerance for mistreatment is often higher for strangers than it is for loved ones. Here are a few possible reasons for it:. It is simply human nature to be more invested and argumentative about things that we dislike over things we do like.
When surrounded by people of your choosing, you may find that you have less patience for their faults in comparison to that of strangers. It may be easier to dismiss the behavior of one-time strangers. In contrast, the proximity of your loved ones may cause more irritation. If unresolved, this might build up over time and eventually burst into open conflict.
For those who are in denial, a study has confirmed that even if only one partner was deprived, it had a significant effect on their ability to deescalate situations and resolve conflicts. Thus, it is ideal to ensure you get good, significant sleep. Here are a few ways to guarantee it:. No one is perfect. Therefore, as much as we want to be the best possible partner for our loved ones, it is foolish to expect perfection from yourself.
As noble a goal as it is, trying to pursue such a path will only ultimately cause frustration and anger. All good relationships require open communication , and this topic is no exception to the rule — especially in times of frustration. If you do not impose these sorts of standards on your partner, why should you apply them to yourself?
A good partner will love you despite your flaws, and may even not see them as such. It is impossible to be strong and supportive all the time. It is instead a major cause of emotional turmoil and is often caused by low self-compassion. In contrast, research has shown that caring for your wants and needs and showing kindness to yourself results in better compromises and personal wellbeing.
You can do this by:. When the fight is over, work on patching things up with compassion, empathy , and the love you know you feel for the person in question. A strong relationship will grow with each fight, establishing new, healthy boundaries as you each learn more about the other person and yourselves.
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